You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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