Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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