i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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