why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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