I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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