You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
