i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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