paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
