Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
