i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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