I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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