Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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