Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
