I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
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All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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