Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
