A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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