my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
