No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
