i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
