My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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