So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
should my penis look like a turkey
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
