is your mom at the bar?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
