hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
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All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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