From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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