It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
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I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
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I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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