i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
