Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
