I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
