honey bunches of taint.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
