Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
