"it" just moved
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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