So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
