i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
