Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
