that's an acceptable place to lick
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
