I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
