I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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