the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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