Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
