We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
