I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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