toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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