I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
