dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
