he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize