Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just found a bag of teeth...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
