Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
