"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
