Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
