I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
