think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
