i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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