so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
