She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
