i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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