Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize