ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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