she was so not down for the gang bang
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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