I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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