I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She bit a glass in half.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
