Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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