oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
