My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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