I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
