Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize