were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
In America we eat man semen.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
