I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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