he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Say something about gay babies.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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