Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
