Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
