holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
my liver is dry heaving
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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